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Цитаты из книги «How to Have That Difficult Conversation», Henry Cloud,John Townsend

Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
Be aware of how present or absent you are in the talk.
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
We need to be willing to suffer discomfort
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
Presence and connection help to make it tolerable.
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again”
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
When a relationship has love but no truth, it either keeps the people too comfortable or even makes them more immature
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
Healthy confrontations help people grow emotionally, relationally, and spiritually
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
What is ignored tends not to be solved.
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
We feel a sense of power that we can make changes and we have choices
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
Nothing is more miserable than to be in a relationship with someone, yet disconnected from her at the same time
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Prov. 27:6).
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
Love needs protection
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
People with good boundaries are clear about their opinions, beliefs, and attitudes
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
boundary is your personal “property line
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
Things can change when the person experiencing the effects of the problem takes the initiative to resolve it.
Sebastian Carvajal
Sebastian Carvajalцитирует2 года назад
The person who has the problem in a relationship often isn’t taking responsibility for his problem
Rap Lim Carmona
Rap Lim Carmonaцитирует3 года назад
“I don’t want you to think I’m coming at this from a ‘better than you’ place. I don’t like what you did. But I have done the same thing [or similar, or worse, or hurtful things] also. At those times what I needed was, first of all, to know that it was going to be okay, and, second, to feel as if someone wanted to help. I want you to know that this is how I feel. I want to talk about how to make it better and grow past this.”
Rap Lim Carmona
Rap Lim Carmonaцитирует3 года назад
“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened” (Luke 11:5 – 10).
Rap Lim Carmona
Rap Lim Carmonaцитирует3 года назад
“I don’t want you to feel I’m here just to dump on you or make you feel bad. That’s not my intention at all. I want us to talk about how we can make this better, and I want to know if there’s anything I can do to help you. I’m on your team here.”
Rap Lim Carmona
Rap Lim Carmonaцитирует3 года назад
What I had been doing wrong was bringing up a problem to people in an isolated context, and it felt as if a bomb had hit. Not only that, but the tone with which I confronted others was even worse. They said I seemed irritated, bothered, and critical.
Rap Lim Carmona
Rap Lim Carmonaцитирует3 года назад
The basic message you want to convey is that you care about the person; you notice things he is doing well, or you let him know you are on his side. The key phrase is this: Be on his or her side.
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