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Charles Bukowski

The People Look Like Flowers at Last

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Menna Abu Zahraцитирует18 дней назад
I live too near the
slaughterhouse
and am ill
with thriving.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует18 дней назад
what do you want?
that I should feel
deceived?
(the green of the weeds in
the sun
is all we have
it’s all we really have.)
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует18 дней назад
as I light a cigarette
or drink a glass of water
or do anything ignominious.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
she was
both ugly and beautiful at the same time and the
two of her just sat there on the window
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
me, and I kept saying as we drove along
(to myself, of course)
fucker, it will pass,
everything passes,
it’s all a joke
a joke on you,
forget it, think of dead dogs dead things think of
yourself: unwanted, broke, simple, a supposed poet writing of
deep things, but you can’t really write about anything except
YOURSELF. isn’t it true? isn’t it true? you are a prick,
a self-centered jackass only wanting an easy way out? you crave
money, grandstands full of ap
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
applause, recognition and a book
of poems that will still be admired in the year 2,179.
you are a
shit-yellow screaming jackal: you ain’t gonna make it and
you might as well get used to it
now.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
“may I say goodbye?” it was
like a bad movie, only it wasn’t a movie:
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
but now at 45
having lived with a dozen women and loving none
I was now crazy, finished.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
anything about Harvard or
diplomas or 50 grand a year, and she knew that all that
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
I was broke. I couldn’t spell, I didn’t even know about using
2 or 3 forks at dinner, I didn’t know
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
2 were doctors. another was the possessor of something great
and important. they all had wives.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
was true: I had been kicked around for too long, I no longer
knew the way up or out or even wanted to know: I was destined for
failure.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
I was already numb,
numb again,
numb
again
again and again,
numbness and pain swelling in
me—just like in the good
old times.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
the comfortable people made comfortable jokes
about weather and things
but I sat mostly silent
saying a word or so when necessary
a word or so
trying to hide from them the fact that I was a fool
and feeling terrible
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
door or to the door I thought was her door
but there seemed to be dozens of doors,
a series of apartments all
enjoined.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
Helen showed up 3 hours later.
she looked like a snake in a green dress, all fluid,
wild wild, glazed,
her silver necklace pulsating
on her throat
right under my nose.
she was consumed by 3 simple things:
drink, despair, loneliness; and 2 more:
youth and beauty.
it was too much:
I could not withstand the force of
her. I kissed her. I kissed her
again. I was like a schoolboy,
all my toughness
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
she was a good artist
better than many men
and that was the
problem.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
two

beware women grown old who were never anything but young.
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
all the little girls
Menna Abu Zahraцитирует3 месяца назад
those constipated minds that seek
larger meaning
will be dispatched with the other
garbage.
back off.
if there is light
it will find
you.
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